A Siren's Tale
Parts 1 -4
By Brent Corrigan
Parts 1 -4
By Brent Corrigan
At the heart of every shipwreck is a siren. I have watched perilously as the industry and online community have gradually become aware of my true age. My model name is Brent Corrigan and my birth date is October 31, 1986. I feel it is important that I start with a sincere apology to the industry and its fans and my involvement in this legal charade that Cobra Video is intent on playing out in the public spotlight.
There have been a series of questions surrounding the situation with Cobra and myself. I wanted to take this first Friday’s column (in a series of 4 this month in May) to set the stage for how I got involved in this industry. Next week, I’d like to address more specifically my personal reasons why I allowed myself to be guided into this type of situation.
I was young, supremely naive and misguided by those who were once close to me. At age 16, during mid-summer 2003, just prior to my junior year in high school, I moved to Southern California to live with my mother. Before moving, I searched various teen oriented online websites where I met Jake, who was 21 at the time and was very insistent that we start dating. He was my first real boyfriend, so I wasn’t quite sure what constituted a normal relationship. Jake was constantly around me and made it a point to become involved in every aspect of my life. He was my social life, my sex life and my most trusted companion. It was my first relationship ever in which a person outside my family held precedent in my life. A couple months into the relationship (mid October 2003) Chris introduced me to Bryan Kocis through a chat forum online. Previously, Jake had applied to work with Cobra, but had been turned down.
Jake was chatting online one afternoon while I was asleep on his bed. Bryan messaged Jake because Jake was on his buddy list and he couldn’t remember why. Jake took the opportunity to rub it into Bryan’s nose for not hiring him because he said, “I have the hottest new boyfriend who is 17 about to turn 18!” Of course Bryan didn’t believe him and challenged Jake to prove it. So while I lay there sleeping behind Jake, off come the covers and my shorts for Bryan to see (Jake had flipped on his webcam to give Bryan a live dose of me)! Bryan quickly changed his mind about Jake after seeing me on webcam. After showing me off, Jake exclaimed he needed to take a shower and he asked me to sit at the computer and chat with Bryan on AIM. I sat down and began chatting while Mr. Kocis began eloquently extracting enough personal information from me to continue our conversation once I was home alone on my own computer.
Bryan’s pursuit was on as he began to recruit me with subtlety. He gained my trust and sparked my curiosity by showering me with and compliments giving me the kind of undivided attention of which the likes I had never seen before. He learned of my hopes and dreams, and then presented the ways in which I could achieve these things by joining him at Cobra Video. In the beginning, Jake had told Bryan I was turning 18 in late October rather than 17 to keep Bryan interested. By parading me off to Bryan, Jake was getting his revenge for Bryan turning him down for modeling, and then also I was acting as somewhat of a guarantee that Jake would be allowed to eventually model for Cobra. Jake assured me it was no big deal; that nobody would get in trouble and that it was common, that boys worked underage in the industry regularly. In fact, he said in most cases producers forge or alter documents for models so they conveniently say the right thing. He convinced me that we would be ok as long as we provided some sort of documentation that stated I was 18.
Bryan was intent on remaining in contact with me. This became an almost daily event from the first time we were introduced, until the day I gave him official notification of my true age. By January 2004, he requested and received two personal casting tapes from me in addition to a private web cam show. He told me he wanted to see how I would look on camera and spent a great deal of effort shipping his personal video camera to me from across the country. He did not, however, spend any effort obtaining my identification. After the first taping, Bryan decided he thought I could do better and so he requested another. It was not until February 2004 just before Bryan flew Jake and I to Florida for my first shoot that he made a request for my ID’s. At which point, Chris scanned both my Washington driver license and my Idaho birth certificate. Using Adobe Photoshop, he altered both documents and sent them as attached documents via e-mail to Bryan.
Every Poolboy’s Dream was shot in early February of 2004 in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. All of my scenes for Every Poolboy’s Dream and Casting Couch 4 were shot in Florida at that time, in addition to the still photos surrounding the shoots. At the end of the weekend and upon completion of all production, Bryan gathered up all the models to present their IDs and have everyone sign the contracts and model releases, a practice I would later learn was his standard approach. Shoot now, ask questions later. I became nervous, because I had nothing to show. While the other models were presented their ID’s Bryan quickly turned to me and commented that he had received mine in an email, so I need not worry about it and that I was fine. He never asked to physically inspect my identification. After the shoot, all I really wanted to do was to quietly fade away; something Bryan did not necessarily agree with.
Part 2: In Deep
I took the opportunity last week as a guest columnist here at JasonCurious.com to set up a little bit of the HOW I got involved in the industry. Before I continue on, please allow me to elaborate a little on my situation at home. My home life and my situation with my family had a lot to do with my vulnerability to the world at large.
By the time I was 16, my relationship with my family was pretty much non-existent. Growing up in my family it wasn’t encouraged to show a lot of love to each other. I just remember a lot of hate, fighting, and yelling. My parents (my step father and my mother) divorced when I was in third grade. I don’t mean to be so hard on them, but both of my parents are alcoholics. Growing up, I don’t recall ever having a positive adult role-model.
When my mother moved to California, I saw a clear opportunity to get away from the mess of negativity that my family represented to me. Even back then, at 16, I knew that if I was going to make something of myself, I was going to have to do it myself. I knew my family wasn’t ever going to do anything that would support me. I felt like if I didn’t take that chance, I might never get another.
I arrived in California to find my mother utterly distracted by her new life. Without my family (two brothers, one sister, and my father) looking over my shoulder every instant I began to experience a level of freedom I was not familiar with. Going through all of this has proved to me just how important the role of family is in our every day life. Among other things, family serves as a safe harbor for each of us. They encourage honest and moral decisions. As I said in the first article, I met Jake almost immediately. Jake learned quickly of my family life or lack thereof and before long, he was all I had to fill that void.
When I was introduced to Bryan of Cobra Video, Bryan made it a point to learn every detail of my existence. The absence of a strong, positive male figure (or parental figure for that matter) in my life left me wide open to anyone’s advances; advances of any kind. Jake had attempted to become that figure but the dysfunctional nature of our relationship and his mildly sociopathic tendencies made him inadequate for the job. The simple fact that he had introduced and encouraged my entrance into the adult industry later became a prime example of his inadequacy. Through our talks and all the venting I did to Bryan it wasn’t long before he had a firm grasp of my very sensitive situation.After the first shoot, Jake and I put the money we made together in a joint account. The only way I had any remote access to the money we had made was through an ATM card he had given me. Less than a month after the first shoot I was desperately trying to split from Jake in light of our differences. Due to the limited access of the account, I began accepting I would have to part ways with the funds. At this point, my family life with my mother had grown exceedingly “uncomfortable”, to put it nicely. I knew, though I was a junior in high school, I needed to find some way to break from the nest and stand on my own two feet. Living arrangements with my mother were supremely unstable and I knew that any given month the two of us could wind up on the streets. Instead of waiting for it to happen, I scrambled to do what I could to prevent this fate.
When Every Poolboy’s Dream hit the shelves, it only complicated matters more. Bryan’s promise of anonymity from the industry started to crumble as person after person in the gay community began recognizing me from my debut film. Not long after the release, Bryan began receiving hints from all over southern California about me and my true age. One specific instance I remember included a very notorious twink hater: Jake’s ex-boyfriend. Jake and this boy had also previously done work together in the industry, and when they split they both continued to work separately. Jake’s ex made an appearance Going Solo, an early Xtreme Production. His model name was Jonathan Deverell. Also, he co-stared in Summer Beach Getaway: The Golden Addition. Jonathan has recently returned and can be found in recent releases by Xtreme under the same alias.
After Poolboy released, Bryan was speaking casually with Jonathan Deverell about hiring him to model for Cobra. Because Cobra doesn’t typically hire porn stars, Bryan was reluctant to use him. To expedite the process and possibly heighten Bryan’s interest, Jonathan gave Bryan an ultimatum. Jonathan told Bryan that if Bryan hired him as a model, he would educate Bryan on which one of his models was only 17.
Bryan refused the terms and dismissed the allegation. Despite this, Jonathan’s spiteful and vindictive nature took control and he divulged the information to Bryan about me. Immediately after this AIM conversation took place, Bryan was on the phone to me inquiring about the truth. However, in our conversation Bryan’s concern appeared to be centered more on what would and could happen to me if it was verified I was 17. He spoke of fraud; that it was a federal crime. He told me that if the FBI were to get involved that I would be held solely responsible for the crime because he had done every thing within accordance of the law. It was expressed to me that if I was 17 it would become a very big deal in the eyes of the media and that at the very least my mother and my whole family would learn of my brief adult career.
Though I was worried, confused, and felt utterly alone and conflicted, Bryan remained a constant entity in my life. With all the questions and uncertainty surrounding my age, he made it priority to maintain tabs on me.
The response from Poolboy was so outstanding that despite all the unrest about my age, Bryan took the first opportunity to get me back in front of the camera. Well educated on my money issues and knowing what had happened to the first check, Bryan proposed the second film: Schoolboy Crush. Though I was worried about my secret becoming known and suffering the consequences; it was still only an abstract possibility. However, my degenerating relationship with Jake and the insecurity at home with my mother was all a reality. THAT was there and then; in my face I was living it every day. Bryan continued to present me with the quickest way out, and that was Cobra Video.
To help validate my second video, I promised myself I would do the work to get where I needed and then turn my back on the industry until I felt my bad decisions could no longer haunt me.
Bryan arranged the second shoot over a weekend. He mapped out an excuse for me to give my mom as to where I would be that weekend. We shot in La Jolla, CA. It was arranged by Bryan that both Chase McKenzie and Brent Everett would share a bed in one of the rooms and Bryan and I would share the other bed in the other room. When these arrangements were made Bryan expressed that because Chase and Brent were ex-boyfriends they could share a bed. He insisted I bunk with him because he did not believe I would get sufficient sleep on the couch. He concluded I was the star and I needed to be in the best condition. All of my interaction with Bryan up until this point had been nothing less of professional; therefore I did not feel threatened by rooming with him.
On the second night of the shoot, Bryan bought alcohol after dinner to celebrate a job well-done. This was April-May of 2004, my junior year in high school. At the time, I was 5’5’’ and weighed 110 lbs. Drinking was not a custom I was familiar with and my tolerance for alcohol was very weak.
Bryan waited until the second night when I had alcohol in my system to make a move on me. I remember Bryan whispering, “I’ve wanted this for so long . . .” At that age, I still had yet to learn the power of “no” and I allowed it to happen. The next day, I was completely embarrassed and I tried not to let on to anyone what had happened.
On the last day of shooting Schoolboy Crush Bryan gathered the models up to sign paper work. Signing the documents went smoothly until Bryan turned on his camera and instructed each of us to say, “I’m at least 18 years of age and my birth date is _____________. I’m here on my own free will and am not under the influence of drugs or alcohol.” He wanted us to hold our ID’s to our faces as we delivered the line. This was not something he had asked me to do on the first shoot and it is my inference that this was a new ritual for him. Maybe all the unrest surrounding my age prompted this addition to signing contracts but I cannot say for sure.
Until that point, the subject of my ID had not addressed besides him receiving the initial altered electronic version. In all the months Bryan had stayed in touch with me and after the few times the dilemma of my age had been addressed, Bryan had never exhibited an interest in the physical inspection of my identification.
I was caught completely off guard and I panicked when Bryan finally requested to see my driver’s license. I tried my best to pretend I was looking for it in my baggage and could not find it. It was impossible for me to hide my distress from Bryan. Bryan’s reaction was equally panicked and quickly became intimidating. To compensate he pulled up the initial electronic copy of my driver license on his lap top screen so that some kind of proof of identification was present. I did my line sitting next to his lap top. Both Brent Everett and Chase McKenzie were present and witnessed this ordeal.
The entire car ride home Bryan insisted over and over that I was 18. He began repeating the same propaganda about fraud and perjury and etched into my skull the importance of me being 18. Before he dropped me off, he told me to go get a California Driver’s License and mail it to him in Pennsylvania so he could validate my age. He had let me out of the car around the block from my home because my mother was standing in front of the house when I arrived.
I spent all night running the events of the weekend through my head. I couldn’t seem to shake the feeling of doom that hung heavy in my room that night. When I woke that morning my feelings had turned from regret and remorse to those of determination. I was determined not to allow things to unravel even further. With that, I set out to obtain exactly what Bryan wanted from me: an ID that read I was 18 years old.
At the time, I was not out and I was still somewhat ashamed of my homosexuality, let alone having participated in gay porn. Bryan knew this and was aware that if my family were to learn of my adult work, I would be shamed and embarrassed. At age 17, these types of feelings rule your world! The things he said became a message that resounded loud and clear in my head: If I wasn’t 18 my life would quickly become nothing short of a living nightmare. I assured Bryan I was in fact 18. In my mind I had no other choice. After this happened, a few incidents here and there cropped up which spurred the same reaction from Bryan. Each time Bryan would repeat the same scenarios in more graphic detail so that I might understand the severity of it all and his version of the consequences. The message was simple: as long I presented ID and continued to maintain that I was 18 then I would not have to worry about getting into any trouble.
In my relationship with Jake, I had been exposed to some of the shadiest aspects of life and Los Angeles. Back when Jake was introducing me to Los Angeles, we drove through MacArthur Park. MacArthur Park, as I remember it, is a place near downtown where lots of seemingly shady things take place. After the second shoot, I remembered Jake telling me where underage kids who wanted to get into clubs or buy alcohol could go to get identification that could pass as “government issued”. As he told me this, we drove down Alvarado by the park. I remember looking out the car window witnessing what appeared to be migrant workers holding up their index and thumb fingers mouthing the word, “ID!”
Based on the things Bryan had said to me, I believed my only option was to provide him with an ID that read I was 18. Looking back, now armed with the truth, I understand it was yet another wrong decision on my part. If I had been advised with the truth, swallowed my pride, and admitted my pitfalls fewer people might have been affected by all this. I can’t help but feel that if I had openly talked about the situation with an adult then matters at hand might have been dealt with in a just and lawful manner. Instead, because I chose to believe the misinformation Bryan was able to handle it his way (stifle it, police my every move and filter my involvement in the industry).
I sincerely believed that the ID would fix all my problems. For $200 dollars, I received an ID and hoped it would pass as a California Driver’s License. I knew that Bryan had hired several models from California. I sent the ID to Bryan as I anticipated daily with trepidation until Bryan called me to say he had received it. He told me everything looked OK and he had a former model come from New York to witness he had seen the ID and signed the document related to the verification. That gesture alone gave me the feeling he had clear reasons to check on the ID’s authenticity. Besides that, he had little more to say about the ID except that it was in the mail on the way back to me.
Fast forward nearly two years later: originally when I came out with the truth and openly discussed the matter with Bryan, I only did so to get a chance to fix what was wrong. I sincerely thought that in place of continuing the charade, Bryan and I could work together, along with any authorities that might have any interest in the case, to clean up the mess that had been allowed to perpetuate because of my embarrassment of the physical relationship that was being forced on me as a condition of my contract and support. Cobra was making untold sums of money off of me the way I saw it, the whole situation was one big boiling pot of water. Bryan holding the top to the pot steadily in place, while Jake and others kept turning up the heat and myself just waiting to burst and bubble out of the crucible. The saga continues next week…
Part 3: Communication
In last week’s column I openly admitted to that which I have done wrong. Last week I apologized to the industry and its fans for my previously ill-advised decisions. I think one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned through all of this is simply that . . . often times in order to fix your mistakes and learn from them you must wear them and, in a sense; embrace them. If you choose not to do this, they will haunt you and eventually, through a force outside of your own person, your world will crumble. Though I am sorry for my actions and seek to make it right, Cobra Video continues to claim “These are just allegations” and refuses to accept any responsibility for what happened.
When I left off last week Cobra had just wrapped the shooting of my second film, Schoolboy Crush. As I discussed openly before, Cobra finally expressed interest in physically inspecting my identification AFTER the shooting of the second film. In retrospect, it is my inference that Cobra finally requested to see my ID in person due to various instances in which questions surrounding my true age were brought up. It may have become quite clear and apparent to Cobra that my age was a viable issue to tend to.
After I finally provided Bryan of Cobra Video an ID, all anguish regarding my age seem to dissipate. In the weeks after the shoot problems between Jake and I only seemed to escalate. Little was provided when I was living with my mother, with the exception of room and board and the infrequent meal. Other than that, all living costs were my responsibility. This included a phone of any kind. My mother had a cell phone and she refused to get a home phone. Jake had put me under his account at AT&T. He had access to not only all of my outgoing calls, but my incoming. When he noticed an unusually large amount of incoming calls from a number in Pennsylvania, he realized they were coming from Bryan. At that time, Jake told me that if I continued to take Bryan’s calls, he would use the truth about my age against me. Jake’s motives as to why he cared one way or the other never were made clear to me. I suspect Jake was wrestling serious jealousy issues.
Bryan learned that Jake was making an attempt at cutting off his communication with me. With this knowledge, Bryan wasted little time in seeking an alternative. Bryan understood that if Jake and I were to break it off completely, Bryan would nearly lose all communication with me. To avoid that from happening, he sent me a Sprint cellular phone: validating it by offering me a job. By sending me the phone, Bryan knew it would be easier for me to get independence from Jake and thus it would leave me completely exposed. Don’t forget that at this time, I was living with my mother who barely knew I existed (and the rest of my family lived 2 states and 1,300 miles away). At the risk of repeating myself . . . my relationship with my family was virtually non-existent.
Going to film school was one of my cardinal reasons for moving to Southern California in the first place. Bryan understood my intentions of a film career and used that to his advantage. He told me many directors in entertainment start with directing porn. He said this was how they got their first on-set, real life experience doing their job. These things he said are what allowed me to consider Bryan’s business proposal. He wanted me to fly out to North Eastern Pennsylvania and stay the summer in a work study program. But, first he wanted me to meet him in New York City as somewhat of a preliminary arrangement. There, in New York City, he told me, we would talk about the specifics for the work study program he had in mind for me.
Bryan had his friend and model, Aaron (Robert Wagner) on the Cobra Video website, steal New York University School of the Arts letterhead. He used the letterhead to fabricate a more convincing letter which he wrote to my mother. It explained I was being invited to New York City to interview for a summer internship in film. Bryan did the letter so well my mother never questioned its authenticity.
I arrived in New York to find a lavish setting. Bryan had arranged for us to stay at The Hudson in Manhattan, which to that point was the trendiest and most chi chi place I had ever set foot in. I grew up in a very modest setting and Bryan began introducing me to things I had always wanted to experience but never could. Upon arrival Bryan had gifts of clothing ready to wear. Having been on two shoots together Bryan was familiar with my sizes and he had gone ahead and made arrangements for fine clothing to wear at all the swank little gourmet dining places he brought me to. That weekend Bryan showed a world to me I had only seen portrayed on TV and in movies. Being a 17 year old boy, these materialistic and gaudy things were seemingly attractive to me. I admit it. I mentioned in the beginning that the only injustice is a lie; which is why I include even my pitfalls in all of this.
Many things happened that weekend. In fact, nearly everything happened that weekend. I remember sitting up at the Rainbow Grill, which is on top of the NBC building in Manhattan (it is affiliated with the Rainbow Room, the revolving, black tie restaurant that made its debut in Six Degrees of Separation). We were there with Aaron, Aaron’s boyfriend, Aaron’s boyfriend’s mother, and of course Bryan from Cobra Video. I remember everyone ordered drinks and when it came down to me to order, Bryan acted like it was no big thing and ordered me a martini. Four, 8 ounce martini’s later we’re all stumbling drunk as we walk the 15 blocks from point A to point B (the hotel). We all parted ways and I’ll leave the rest of the drunken evening to your imagination.
What little business that was discussed between Bryan and I was very brief. He told me he would teach me the use of his camera, lighting, and even the editing programs he used in post-production. His idea was that all of the knowledge he passed on to me would help me with whatever film-oriented career I chose. He told me he just wanted to help me and that his reasons were nothing less than benevolent. He also expressed hope that I might decide to help him build his member’s only website after the summer was up. He told me he needed the help anyway; that he was the sole employee of Cobra Video and at times it got to be a big load for just one person. He told me he would pay me a weekly salary for the work I finished for him.
I went home after the NYC trip and told my mother I had been approved for the program. She had little questions and there was never any paper work for her to sign. She believed she was allowing me to spend the summer in New York City in the program. Despite that she was sending her 17 year old boy, a minor, out into the big city for a whole summer; there was never any paper work for her to fill out regarding the arrangement. Though the situation should have rang strange to any mother, she was so preoccupied with her own life she didn’t make this observation.
After my junior year in high school ended in June of 2004 Bryan booked tickets for me to fly out to Pennsylvania. I spent the summer in a small town tucked away in the middle of no where. The first 3 weeks went smoothly. About that time Bryan began talking about his ideal plans for him and me. He wanted me to leave my southern California residence to move in with him in North Eastern Pennsylvania. He had all these elaborate, well-calculated plans for me to attend college in his small town and build from the ground up his member’s only site. He enticed me with the offer by exemplifying Gage and Steve from Citi Boys and their arrangement. Bryan told me how Gage had been a model then at some point began working side by side with Steve at Citi Boys. Their work together was so successful that Gage, according to Bryan, had purchased a new Porche. I could not understand why Bryan was so insistant on me coming to live with him in Pennsylvania. Now, looking back, it makes much more sense to me. If I lived under the same roof as he did, it would make is far easier for him to keep a watchful eye on me and maintain my feelings of guilt about my age.
Bryan’s detailed plans for me scared me a little bit. I did not like the idea and I told him it would deter me from my focus on mainstream film. As soon as Bryan began understanding I was not going to relocate for him and his business, our arrangement there in BumFuck, PA changed. He stopped teaching me and showing me the ins and outs. It got to a point where all we were doing was sitting in his dark house, barricaded away from the public. We hardly ever left the house and if we did it was to go out to drive his fancy Maserati (which he paraded in front of me like it was some sort of trophy). Bryan didn’t want me making friends with the locals and could not understand why I would want to be around other boys my age all summer. Because my only transportation was through the use of Bryan’s Jeep Cherokee ( Bryan severely limited my use) I felt like I was being held prisoner. I quickly observed that Bryan did not have any friends (besides two middle-aged women: one a crack-head hair-dresser and the other a nurse I never met) and the only time he spent away from me and the house was to be with family or run errands around town.
Many things happened that summer as I learned who and what Bryan was really all about. To go into such detail could run this article way past ideal length. Originally the plan was I would stay 2 months: the whole summer. By the 6 th week, Bryan had frayed my nerves. What finally pushed me over the edge was Bryan’s cranky neighbor, a miserable wretch of a woman. She was the kind of woman so disdainful she never seemed to wipe that cranky pout from her face. Looking back, being neighbors with Bryan might have caused me to go just as sour.
One day nearing the end of my sixth week at Bryan’s, I was on a decline painting the foundation of Bryan’s house. I was sweating balls in the 80% humidity weather when this woman poked her head down from her property line. She gave me dirtiest look and I returned with a weak smile. She then proceeded to meet me where I was painting. The conversation went somewhat like this:
The woman said, “How old are you?!” forcibly.
I returned quickly, “Eighteen. Do you want to see my ID? It’s in the house.”
“No, that’s fine, save it for the police. Are you aware you’re living with a pedophile? He’s not supposed to have ANY contact with any child under the age of 18.”
I replied, “I think you’re wrong, I think you might just be a little sour toward Bryan.”
“I’ve got a job to do. I’m supposed to watch out and make sure this man doesn’t break his parole. And when I’m given a job, I do it! I don’t think you know this man as well as you think you do!”
With that, the woman stormed up the incline to her property. I gathered my tools and went inside to clean up. Bryan had been out running errands when this occurred (who knows? At a parole meeting maybe?). When he got back, I told him about what had happened and he became enraged about what the woman had done. He kept claiming “She can’t do that! It’s illegal, she’ll pay for it!” I had only seen him upset one other time: when I could not find my ID on the second shoot.
What the woman was referring to was a case involving a 15 year old boy and Bryan, which happened in 2001. Bryan was charged with statutory sexual assault, aggravated indecent assault, indecent assault, involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, and corruption of minors, sexual abuse of children and unlawful contact or communication with a minor. A charge of rape was dismissed. The victim, 16 at the time of the investigation, was 15 when the alleged crimes occurred between May and June of 2000. Bryan had told me his “safe” version of the story knowing that it would not alarm me and my safety there. This woman raised my suspicions about what all Bryan had told me.
By this time, Bryan had begun to grow exceedingly hostile about me being there and with each passing day I became more and more uncomfortable with him. When it reached boiling point I made the executive decision to GET OUT and find another place to spend my remaining 2 weeks there in PA before I flew home safe to my mother.
I had been talking with a boy in Welsboro , Pennsylvania all summer. I still don’t yet understand why, but I was completely open about my situation there with this boy. His name was Adam and when shit hit the fan at Bryan ’s he offered to come and pick me and my things up and take me back to Welsboro where I could stay safe. I decided I would be not only more comfortable, but much more safe there in Welsboro. That is, even if I was taking a chance and staying with a stranger. I felt my odds were better there with Adam than staying around waiting for a bad situation to only get worse at Bryan ’s.
During my 2 weeks there in Welsboro there was absolutely nothing to do. While I was there, Bryan threatened to take my return ticket and push it back 2 months. He told me that if I didn’t want to come back to him then I could just sit in Welsboro for two months and think about it. I think he was mostly mad because he had made plans to pair me up with Lance on his site, in a scene. When I left, he lost the use of me as a model and that infuriated him more than anything. I didn’t want to do the scene in the first place for fear that I’d get in even more trouble, so me leaving allowed me to escape that problem. Adam had connections with the local police force and after hearing about me and my situation, he went to his connections for advice.
While I was staying in Welsboro , Pennsylvania I believe at one point the authorities were looking for me to verify my age. I was so brainwashed into thinking I would be in trouble that I made Adam promise he would not lead the police to me. To ensure my safe arrival home I purchased my own one way ticket back to California because I knew I couldn’t chance it that Bryan had messed with my reservations. I even flew out of Raleigh , New York because Bryan threatened to be at the Scranton airport when I was to depart.
I arrived home at the tail end of summer to find my mother had moved from the dilapidated house we had been living in (where I had my own room). She had relocated into an even dumpier place. It was a one bedroom apartment and the arrangements were that I was to sleep on the couch. I took the money I made that summer working for Bryan and bought a run down Grand Am (1992 issue) and paid my first month’s rent. Even though I was going into my senior year, starting at a new high school, I had no choice but to support myself. One month before my 18 th birthday my mother stopped paying rent her apartment and she was evicted. Her plans were to travel away with her boyfriend and it was up to me to figure things out for myself.
Bryan knew full well his behavior that summer had ruined our friendship. He knew that if he was going to even think about getting back in good with me, he would have to do something spectacular. Either that, or just pull all the same old tricks he used before (because they were proven to work on me he knew). Make me feel like he was my only option to get by, and dangle a fancy life style in front of me like bate. He couldn’t afford to have me running loose without his leash restraining the truth.
Working part time retail and going to high school full time was not paying the bills and was not getting me by. For that first 3 months I didn’t think I was going to make it. I had had offers to move to Los Angeles with various acquaintances but thankfully I never had to do so. Desperation and duress got the best of me and before I knew it . . . Bryan had weaseled his way back into my life. I turned 18 on October 31 st, 2004 and by December 2004 Bryan had filmed my first scene of legal age.
Part 4: Legal Now
It was mid December 2004 that Cobra Video filmed my first legal scene. I had spent the summer before then caged up in Bryan’s home in Nowhere, Pennsylvania. Those few weeks I spent there with him had given way to the demise of our friendship. That summer I learned the truth about Bryan and his felony conviction involving a 15 year old boy. Bryan was charged with statutory sexual assault, aggravated indecent assault, indecent assault, involuntary deviate sexual intercourse, and corruption of minors, sexual abuse of children and unlawful contact or communication with a minor. A charge of rape was dismissed. After learning this from a bitter neighbor, I decided it was a good opportunity to get away before something terrible happened. By that time our friendship had deteriorated so badly and I didn’t know just how far Bryan would or could go to harm me.
Back in southern California I resumed an independent life as I entered my senior year in high school. That Fall I turned 18 and several of my close friends felt that considering my very rough time, it would be fun to throw me a big blow out birthday party. Of course, in the midst of all the excitement my then-boyfriend and friends didn’t remember to promote the party as my 19 th birthday and not my 18 th. We threw the party at this AMAZING home on Beachwood Dr in Hollywood . The house was nestled comfortably up against a hill just below the Hollywood sign. Though the house wasn’t very large, there must have been at least 700 people filter in and out by the end of the night. Halloween was on a Sunday that year so we threw my party on Saturday evening (my birthday is October 31 st, 1986 ). I remember hearing people talk about that party for weeks after. Several people asked me why it was promoted as my 18 th birthday when I should have been turning 19. By that time the damage control I was attempting to administer regarding the truth about my age was proving to be fruitless so I just avoided answering these questions all together.
Around the same time, Jake, my first boyfriend (the Hispanic in Every Poolboy’s Dream I did my solo and three-way scene with), was posting bulletins all over online about who I was and how old I was. I found XY.com, Myspace.com, Gay.com, Adam4Adam.com, and many other sites in which Jake had profiles and he mentioned his connection to me. Not to mention, who I was in my personal life and the fact that I did my work under age and that I had merely turned 18 that Fall.
As I stated in last weeks article, part-time retail and attending school full time was not paying the bills. Bryan systematically contacted me. As the months passed and the distance between Bryan and I grew, I began to forget the horrors of my summer with him in Pennsylvania . Finally in December 2004, with my monetary situation getting progressively worse, I agreed to film a scene for Bryan in La Jolla , California . He arranged to rent a house in the same location that Schoolboy Crush was shot.
Because Bryan had managed to get me to at least work with him again, I believe he also thought that if he played me right he could maneuver me back into the same position he had me in before the summer had ended. Bryan openly accepted that the disastrous summer we had together was largely in part disastrous because of his behavior. He wanted to make it up to me. He realized that by me even considering doing the work for him it left the door open for him to regain control.
Before the scheduled shoot was to take place in La Jolla , Bryan offered to make arrangements to take me along with him on a trip he had planned to Hawaii . He told me he was going with or without me and that he saw it as a chance for him to make things up to me for the events of the summer. He noted that that I didn’t have any family in California and had no one to spend the Christmas holiday with. He also claimed he felt bad that it was likely I would not receive much of anything for the holiday and that he wanted to do what he could to avoid me feeling lonely. I had never been to Hawaii and in all honesty, the prospect of going to Hawaii was very attractive to me. I just couldn’t help but feel like I could find better company to go with. On the other hand, I figured, with the way in which I grew up and the way my parents struggled to support my brothers and sister and me, I might not get another chance to see Hawaii for a long time (if ever). I figured it was likely I would end up spending my life time like my parent’s spent theirs: just struggling to get by month to month.
Before the trip was booked I made it plain and clear to Bryan : we were traveling as FRIENDS and that I was merely giving him the opportunity to fix things between us. I’m a firm believer in a second chance because I understand that we all make mistakes. Most importantly; we all make bad decisions. If anyone should understand that, it’s me.
I insisted to Bryan that he booked a room with TWO BEDS. One for him to sleep in . and One for me. Upon arrival in Maui I find a room with ONE BED.
I was completely livid with Bryan . I felt like I was being played and that he was not taking me seriously. Bryan and I had discussed the manner in which we were traveling and he knew full well that I was not interested in recreating the situation from the previous summer. He played dumb and acted like it was his mistake that he did not understand what I meant by TWO BEDS. Luckily, the bed was king sized and I did not allow Bryan ’s under handed gimmicks to ruin the trip.
While in Maui , Bryan rented a red Shelby Cobra. It was my suggestion He suggested that we rent the car and park it by the beach to take pictures. Brent Corrigan posing in a Shelby Cobra seemed almost like an iconic a catchy concept for Cobra and Bryan so I agreed he liked the idea. . Cobra has since issued the pictures on their site. This was one of the last photo sets I did before I began weight training. When we finished shooting, Bryan and I went for a drive up the coastline.
As Bryan and I got further up the coastline buildings and other people became scarce. When we got to a high point on a cliff Bryan pulled over so that we could enjoy the view. We both got out of the Cobra to walk over to the edge of the cliff to enjoy the view. Standing on the side of that jagged cliff we must have been 100 200 feet from the violent ocean thrashing below. It was breathtaking and I remember thinking, “this is what people RAVE about when they come to Hawaii . This view will always be synonymous with Hawaii for me.” I stood there quietly and Bryan continued to talk. In the car ride up Bryan spoke of the industry and some of the major scandals therein. By the time we had parked the car, Bryan had begun telling me a story about a particular producer who worked with a particular model and their relationship. The story went like this:
Bryan knew, or knew of, a producer once who had done quite well in the gay adult industry. This producer put out films with twinks and young looking boys similarly to the way Bryan does. This producer met a boy at some point and started using the boy in his movies. The boy had expressed sincere and serious interest in getting into the industry and the producer offered to make that happen. Shortly after this producer and the boy began working together THE BOY initiated a very personal and sexual relationship with the producer. It was later discovered that the boy had forged his identification when the FBI came knocking on the producer’s door to check the authenticity of this producer’s 2257 records. Bryan said that the boy blamed Bryan, I mean, the producer for the manipulation of his ID’s and claimed he was innocent of everything. (Innocent slip of the Tongue by Brent?)
The boy refused the truth, according to Bryan . Bryan then told me that this producer would not allow himself to go down due to what this boy supposedly had done to him. When the shit hit the fan, the boy fled knowing that he was in danger. This producer hired “waste management” to go after the boy. Waste Management tracked the boy down in New Jersey and put six bullets in the boy’s chest! Bryan told me the producer had made the decision to do whatever it took to keep himself out of jail, even if it meant that the key witness would have to disappear.
As Bryan told me this story I made the clear distinction between this story and our current situation. Inadvertently Deliberately by telling me this story, Bryan was planting it in my head that I could never allow the truth to come out. If I did, my life would be in danger. Bryan was sending the message that as a producer , he would pull out all the stops to stay out of prison. This is just one clear example of Bryan ’s manipulation/ manipulative mind tactics he used on me to keep me silent.
After I turned 18 I felt my life and the secrets I kept would become easier. After But after hearing this story, all my feelings of apprehension and fear resurfaced; even stronger than before. Bryan had achieved exactly what he set out to do: scare me into submission and silence.
Bryan and I retuned from Hawaii to La Jolla and filmed my scene with Connor Ashton. While we on the subject of Connor Ashton, let me just say that . . . . I have never heard a more pathetic model name than Connor Ashton. I don’t think that Cobra could of come up with something more deliberately GAY than Connor Ashton. Although, in retrospect I now feel the name is quite befitting of Connor. To me, Connor Ashton is a name that reminds me of a sniveling, whining, spineless flamer who succumbs to the lies and mind games of a 43 year old, flat faced, pig nosed producer.
Despite my obvious unsettled feelings about Connor, in the beginning we hit it off well. We shared a bed together the last night of the shoot in La Jolla . That night, I took a chance and poured my heart and soul out to Connor. I told him everything about me and my sticky situation. Bryan did little to hide our personal relationship to Connor and kept alluding to it. I was overtly frustrated from the Hawaii trip (which had only made me feel worse about Bryan and did nothing to fix our friendship) and I vented it all out to Connor.
I made Connor promise to never tell anyone. I could tell at the time he cared about me and he really wanted to see my get through all this. After the shoot we arranged plans for me to come visit him in the Midwest in the city , where he lived in. . I spent 5 days staying with him and everything seems near perfect. When I left Connor, he had tears in his eyes because we had connected so well and he didn’t think it was fair I lived here and he lived there.
Our relationship was going well until Bryan got the best caught wind of it. Bryan could not stand to see me with someone and happy. I’m sure he also figured that if I got close to someone in that way it was only a matter of time before the truth about the matter would come out. So, Bryan went right to work dismantling my relationship with Connor. He planted enough propaganda in Connor’s head to ultimately change Connor’s mind about me and thus was the end of what had been a good friendship. Bryan had told Connor I was a leech and that if Connor wasn’t careful I would try to move in with him and make him support me.
I didn’t learn of what Bryan was saying to Connor until much after the friendship had ended. Back in southern California I once again attempted to resume life as a normal 18 year old boy. I did various scenes for Cobra Video to get by as the months passed. I continued to work with Bryan because according to him Cobra Video was virtually my only option. Bryan told me that no pro studio or any studio of any kind with good morals and politics (those against bareback especially) would hire me to work for them because of all the bareback work I had in my past (except for him he said, of course). He told me that it would not be wise to apply to work with any other bareback studio because if I did A) he would never use me as model again and B) other studios would not look after my health and safety the way he did. Bryan told me that other studios that produced bareback porn did not test and didn’t even check the status of their models. He told me that in fact many studios write into their contracts that one should expect that the models they do their scenes with are positive. Bryan hard wired me into believing that places like Falcon and Adonis were studios that would never ever even entertain the prospect of using me as a model because of my work with Cobra. The things Bryan told me made me feel like Cobra was the end all be all for me in the adult industry
I sincerely believe Bryan wanted me to think that Cobra Video was it for me because if I ever did branch off to other studios the truth about my age very likely would leak. At the time I did not have any friends that were linked to the industry and I lived most of my social life within my high school and the few gay friends I had. There was no one out there to counteract the things Bryan was telling me with the truth. At some point I felt I wanted nothing more than to have something to show for all the work I had done for Cobra (all that I had received had gone to everyday expenses such as rent, gas, and meals). As these feelings surfaced in me an idea came with it. This idea spawned a shoddy exclusive contract between Cobra and I. Next week I’ll continue with the specifics on how the contract came about and the circumstances surrounding it. Please understand, all this occurred over a span of two years. I’ve decided that four articles will not be enough to hold the weight of truth here, so I will continue on to a fifth and possibly a sixth article.
Still waiting those articles never came because the four here served their purpose as a warning shot across Bryans bow! Stop the Stalking and Death threats now! Remember in May 2006 we learned for the first time that Bryan Kocis had Explicitly threatened Sean Lockharts life in Hawaii December of 2004!